How I Made A Change
I have taken a back seat recently from blogging, as you will have noticed. I’ve put my focus on something that I wanted to change. I have never done a blog post like this before, I hope it comes across in a positive way. For all of you who are close to me, will know my story.
I had an operation nearly 2 years ago, which still feels like yesterday. I had keyhole surgery which was a lymph node dissection from the abdomen, it is carried out under general anaesthetic. I had a small cancerous tumour in my cervix, which was removed and this surgery was recommended by my gynaecologist to prevent anything spreading to my lymph nodes. He explained to me many side effects, but at the time I wasn’t thinking about any of them, I just wanted it over and done with. What’s a list of side effects vs putting my future at risk?
The side effects that I was told I may suffer from were;
Pain or slight discomfort – I will admit, that the pain once I came around from the surgery was extreme, it was a sharp but aching severe pain. It was more than slight discomfort, but everyone is different. It was 7-10 days for recovery, and as the days passed the pain became more bare-able.
Swelling of the stomach and legs – I thought, nah this won’t happen to me, I’m tiny. But oh boy, did I experience swelling. He explained the swelling could take 6 months to a year to subside. I went from a size 6 to a size 10/12 on my bottom half. As you can imagine, this knocked my confidence. Some people who knew me, even asked if I was pregnant. You laugh it off.
5 scars – These don’t bother me, they are white, barely see them and a reminder of what I’ve achieved.
The biggest thing I learned through this experience, is that you shouldn’t ignore your body, I was seriously lucky I had this caught so early, also always go for your smear test. This sounds cheesy, but what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
As time went on, I was probably comfort eating, being lazy as I wasn’t fully myself. It became clear that my body wasn’t just going to go back to how it was. I knew I had to make a lifestyle change. I have always been an active person, I was part of a swim team, I danced for years and played sports at school, so I wasn’t afraid of exercise. I was afraid of the gym, as silly as that sounds. I had never stepped foot in one before. The vision in my head, was that it was just super attractive muscly people looking perfect!? I didn’t feel happy in any of my clothes, it just wasn’t me. I knew I had to make that first move into my journey. I remember texting my friend, ‘I’m on my way to sign up to the gym, what if they all look at me’. I managed to get passed that, so the first step was over, and I was fine, no one looked at me. I started to think, I CAN DO THIS.
At first, I was just turning up and using the machines, not having a clue what I was doing. I started doing some research on you tube to get some inspiration, and at least a bit of knowledge. I then pestered my friend to try to do a work out plan for me, as she has a banging body and exercises regularly. I was so excited to start it. She showed me how to perform the exercises properly. This is when I started to really enjoy what I was doing. I had a goal, which was just simply to be able to finish the work out plan.
I then began to gain more confidence. I started my next exercise programme which was Extreme by Lucy Meck. I’m only in my 4 month of exercising but already my body is changing, I sleep better, and I’m generally in a better mood. When it comes to food, I have only made small changes to the way I eat. For example – I have less mayonnaise with my chips, and no butter when I have eggs on toast. I have granary bread instead of white. I still eat what I want, I still enjoy a burger. I enjoy food too much to go super healthy, but this is working for me. It’s really about finding what works for you, and most of all what you enjoy.
My confidence is growing, my journey is far from over but I feel like I’m becoming me, which is a feeling that you can’t describe. Some of you may think, there wasn’t anything wrong with how you looked. That’s completely okay to say or think that, but even the people you least expect to have body issues, have them, believe me. Everyone is different, we all want to be a certain way, we all have our own vision of it. I want to be a way that makes me feel good. It sums up the name of my blog. Be Yourself, Only Better. If you want to make a change, make it realistic, believe you can do it and you will.